“What’s up with the drunk chick?”

She raised her eyes away from the beer pong table, searching the kitchen. “Uh, which one are you talking about?”

“That one,” and he pointed at the girl leaning against the fridge, her eyes locked on her phone as she flipped through pictures on it. Her eyes were welling up with tears as they stared at her, and she looked sadder with every new picture on her phone.

“Oh, no.”

“She looks heartbroken.”

“No, no way,” she growled, downing her drink in one gulp and throwing the glass over her shoulder, ignoring the high, offended shrill of a girl as it hit her while she walked by. “I get enough of the girls when they’re complaining about their ex-boyfriends, I’m not dealing with another one.”

He shrugged, not giving any other answer beyond handing her a new glass with a new drink, and she turned her eyes back to the beer pong game.

It wasn’t long after that she had to go to the bathroom, though – alcohol gives her, what she calls, ‘the bladder of a duck’. And as she tried to look for a bathroom that seemed pretty much impossible to find, she found herself accidentally elbowing the girl by the fridge, who still looked about ready to release the water works.

“Sorry!” she turned, recognizing the girl, and found herself trying very hard to swallow her guilt.

It didn’t work.

“Hey…are you OK? You look…uhm…pretty rotten.”

“I miss him so much.”

Oh, shit.

 “Hey, listen, if he broke up with you, then maybe it’s for the best. I mean…he’s obviously a douche, right?”

“He didn’t…”

“Well, then if you broke up with him I’m sure there’s a good reason behind it!” Fuck my life, why me?! “Like…the fact that he’s a douche!”

“He’s not!”

“Well, I can’t help you here…”

The girl was practically sobbing by now, her hands shaking as she stared at her phone. “I haven’t seen him in four hours and I miss him so much!”


 “Listen, not that I have any say in this or whatever, but…if you’re missing your boyfriend after four hours then you have some ser-”

The girl shoved her phone into her face, tears actually streaming down her face.

“He’s only four weeks old!”

“That is the cutest fucking puppy I’ve ever seen.”

“I’ve had him for four days and he’s alone at home! I’m a terrible mother!”