I don’t necessarily want to stop existing.
I just want to be in a state of time not passing around me while I rest.
Then let it go back to normal when I’m OK.
“Every prison has an open door”?
Even if that’s true, I’m tired of being stuck in a loop of one door leading to the next.
I feel like this is a prison that gets bigger and more maze-like the more I try to get out.
(I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be fourteen.)
Every time I see someone in a church-school uniform I just suddenly remember that there are still people out there who are growing older and have yet to experience the world.
(I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be confused about what you like and scared of your future but confident that you’re doing great right now.)
(Maybe that’s for the best.)