The first time we met
We sat together
I felt a hand on my back all night
And we sat with our friends in a bar
And we gulped down
Burning alcohol
And I thought to myself
I don’t need to get dizzy off of liquid tonight
Because honestly
We were already intoxicating each other enough.

That first night
Our friends took us to a club
And they made us dance
And I found that –
Amongst the throbbing lights
And the music that made my heart feel
Like it was going to burst out of my chest at any second –
There wasn’t a single way we could be closer to each other
But we somehow managed.

The first time lips touched skin
I turned my head and I felt lips press against my neck
Instead of my lips
And I knew what had to happen next.

The first time we kissed
Cars honked at us
And we were both dizzy and a little bit drunk
And we were holding onto each other
And I couldn’t keep my hands to myself
And I found that I wasn’t ashamed if anyone saw us –
And a lot of people did.

And a month later
We lay together in bed for the first time
And we counted the imaginary stars
That speckled across the ceiling
And I sat up.
I sat up and I stared into the darkness
And I found a voice telling me that
None of this was right
And that none of this was supposed to work out
And I shouldn’t be doing this
It wasn’t right
I shouldn’t be here.

But she placed a small
Soft
Kiss
On my neck
And she turned her face to make me look at her
And she told me it’ll be OK
It’ll be OK
It’ll be OK
And I thought
How can something that feels so perfectly right
Be so stupidly wrong?

And that night we lay in bed together
For the first time
She lay her hand over mine
And I stared at it for the longest time
Thinking that
Jigsaw puzzles can fit together sometimes
Even if they look the same.

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